World of Bile

Thoughts, pics and links from me to you.. Read on...

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Location: London, United Kingdom

I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoy writing it.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Thank God it's all over


Finally! Two days of constant chowing down over. I awoke on Christmas day on see the granddaddy of all turkeys being forced into the oven.. and it was pretty much downhill from there. For reasons I won't disclose here it was only the bucket of cheap asda gin and many cigarettes that got me through Xmas; Boxing Day was slightly less intense..

So.. it's four days till New Years and more of the same. Gracing my buddy Tom (aka Mr Aeon Flux) for his 30th. Time for me to take my distended belly back to bed I reckon..


Tuesday, December 19, 2006

It was bound to happen..

Nuff Said

This makes me feel very unhappy.

The Australian cricket team have now gone 3-0 up after three matches and have recovered The Ashes with two matches to play. In short, they tore us apart. We went into the First Test with high hopes, only to have them blown apart by poor planning and pure Australian talent.

The batting averages make horrible reading: Hussey, Michael Clarke and Ponting average over 100 each! And Brett Lee has better batting figures than all the English batsmen bar two. Where the hell did the Aussies get Stuart Clarke? He has taken 16 wickets with the ball at an average of 18. Grrr!!

Im sure that means sweet f.a to you but watching the cream of our boys being summarily humiliated by the boys in green and yellow brings a lump of bile to my throat. Thankfully I missed out on Gilchrist swatting the ball around in the last test, Ponting doing his flinty eyed Bradman impression (in appearance and in deeds) too. All too clinical.. I struggle for the right adjectives.. all too..German i think.

There's a thought.. combine Australian competitiveness and German efficiency and what would you get?

Scary huh?

Friday, December 15, 2006

Beard and Moustache World Championships

Yes, there is such a thing..

Funnily enough, the big winners seem to be mostly German and Austrian in nationality: I wonder why that is?

It is kind of like Crufts in a way - the contestants are just as hairy.

My favourite, by a whisker (haha!) is this German chap. Something sinister about him, don't you think? Bowler hat, smart suit, red scarf dangled rakishly over the shoulders, luxuriant black beard forking from cheeks like the Batman insignia. Would you offer him directions or be sent screaming with fear in the opposite direction?

Leopold was a hit with the ladies
Whereas this guy simply looks depraved. Immaculate tache, shaven head... earring. To me this image screams: 'Come to me, little boy!'.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Flat tops, hundreds and hundreds of flat tops

Someone needs to get a life.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Draining the blood out of me...

Decided to do my good citizen turn yesterday. The pic is a clue. Any ideas?

Yeah, spot on! Whilst up in the West End doing some Christmas shopping I ventured into the donation centre in Margaret Street to give my pint of claret. It has been a while.

About four years ago I used to work in Woking and got an hour of work to give some blood and the habit stuck. You'd think that after all that time and several donations I'd be pretty blase about it, but frankly it still makes me cringe.

Just so you know, human blood is categorised into 8 different varieties (pub quiz trivia info there) and I am what is known as 'B rhesus positive'. Its intriguing how blood type distribution differs in countries throughout the world - check out this wikipedia link if you're keen to know more.

Mid afternoon tends to be a quiet time for donations, so I sat down, filled out my form and was ushered in sharpish. First of all they take a drop of your blood and test it in what looks like a cylinder of mouthwash - next is the checklist of donts they disapprove of. Answer 'yes' to any of these and you've got problems:

  • Been given money for sex?
  • Had sex with someone who has had money for sex?
  • Injected drugs?
  • Are you HIV positive?
  • Had sex in Africa or another AIDS hotspot?
  • Had sex with farmyard animal?

The last one was a joke by the way....

They then take you out the back with a big axe and a bucket and you're sorted.

No, it's a bit more organised than that. I got a barmy Spanish woman who used to be a photographer doing me. Inserting the needle doesn't hurt - the sensation just makes you really cringe. Even after 9 goes I'm a really pussy: maybe they could smell the fear or read the wide eyed look of terror on in my eyes. After 15 minutes prone you get a cup of tea and some chocolate biscuits and they send you on your way.. 500 mils less blood flowing through me of course..

Friday, December 01, 2006

A quick one

Was having a mooch at lunchtime..was looking for inspiration for the gifts I need to buy before Xmas.

Found the perfect present for Mark, you know the kind of thing which makes you think 'yeeeees!' when you see it.