World of Bile

Thoughts, pics and links from me to you.. Read on...

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Location: London, United Kingdom

I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoy writing it.

Monday, April 23, 2007

My third favourite actor of all time.. maybe

Olivier he ain't.

He doesnt have the charm and sophistication of Cary Grant...

Nor the small town charm and dignity of James Stewart..

Or the laconic sass of Bill Murray...

Or the slightly sinisterness of Willem Dafoe..

He's balding... he sounds like he should be an extra out of The Bill.. and he used to go out with Kelly Brook (lucky chap)

He is.... Jason Statham

Ive just had the pleasure of watching 'Crank' last week and enjoyed every minute of it. JS plays the white man's Vin Diesel: big biceps, good with his fists and has a clever line is wisecracking. His characters handle is 'Chev Chelios' which for someone who looks like an extra out of any Guy Ritchie film doesnt make much sense. Kinda like calling an Arnie character 'John Kimble' or something isnt it? Hang on a sec.. thats be done already..

Now the premise of this movie is a good 'un: our hero has been fitted up by one of his contract killing buddies and has been injected with some synthetic Chinese drug. He must keep his heartbeat above a certain rate or he falls down dead! Queue lots of drug taking, shooting people and sex in the street whilst Statham looks for revenge. On top of all this good blokey stuff by numbers 'Crank' is actually rather funny and kind of clever..ever seen a Vin Diesel film like that?
Case in point: Chelios nicking a police bike to up his adreneline rate, he's starkers except for a great big stiffie (plot point that) and a hospital robe. There is something about the use of 'Everybody's Talkin' by Nilsson which made me piss myself with laughter..

Top blog attack II..

Another one for you. It never ceases to make me laugh...

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Isn't he dead yet?

Alan Johnston banner

Alan Johnston banner

Alan Johnston banner

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Ching! Ching!

Good old Alliance and Leicester:

Im well chuffed..As you may now, a recent trend allows you to go after your bank to claim any interest overdraft charges. People have been literally claiming back thousands..

I tried it with A&L: have been with em only since July 06 so was only after 50 quid.

Imagine my suprise therefore when they wrote back to me 2 weeks later stating my account would be credited with 75 pounds instead!

Nice one.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Tom, Haslemere et al

Its good to catch up with old buddies isn't it? As most of mine make off in diverging domestic directions it seems to happen less and less. Tom is a case in point. Him and Claude the German (short for Claudia) have settled themselves down in deepest, darkest Waverley.

As soon as I arrived Tom dragged me down the boozer. Haselmere has very little to offer in the way of nightlife, save a biker bar and two bland chain type pubs. The clientele is pretty standard too; lads in polo shirts and glossy Surrey birds with big hair. Beyond the usual kind of perving there isnt too much more to say. A weird thing this: Wetherspoons pub on one side with all the local blokes trying to out alpha male each other and all the chicks in The Swan on the other! Tom's eyes lit up like a jackpot about to pay out big when he saw that...

Our night simply involved getting bladdered and talking about our nearest and dearest. About 11ish Tom started slumping in his seat and the eyes started closing - the usual signal for 'its time for bed'. Its good to see time hasn't smoothed too many of his tough edges. Some of his more dickish comedy pronouncements still make me laugh - like shouting 'RAAAPE!' as we marched down the dark, secluded alley back to his pad.

Most people might take that as being extremely offensive...

Thursday, April 12, 2007

'Come on, join in.. you ARE English'

My old buddy has just got back from a birthday bash in Amsterdam. His fourth visit so he's a Dam veteran and a conneisseur of all the fine things the city has to offer.

The thought of that left me dewy eyed and nostalgic about some of my trips there: those with the boys and the one with the girl. Aah, halcyon days those - I still clearly remember arriving at the main station with Tom on trip 1, our eyes bright and minds keen for hedonism and self abuse.

As a people, the Dutch Ive met are a tolerant sort. Week after week trainloads of stag and hen parties, and packs of randy teenagers descend on the city for fun and mischief. Rewind back to trip number two: a crowd of drunken mancs barrel onto the tram we're riding and start singing 'Once in Royal David's City' at the tops of their voice. In response to our bemused expressions one lad pipes up:

'Come on, join in... you are English'

The Dutch passengers on said tram simply smile and shake their heads ruefully.

A lad goes to the Dam for pretty much one of two things: good drugs and sexy ladies. But once you've done em both a couple of times - the novelty wears off a little. The first cafe that me and Tom patronised had a wonderful Bob Marley mural in the corner and a comfortable table which we happily got intoxicated around. All the toking experiences after that didnt reach the same high standard. A prime example from trip 3 (the cultural one): Me and Claire buy a pack of 3 spliffs from one of them Bulldog places. We spark up and about 10 mins later she mutters: 'Can we go back to the hotel now?' I had to agree as I was pretty wasted too.

It aint as much fun as it used to be.

Or maybe Im just a lightweight nowadays..

How can I describe the goodies which the headshops offer? Well, 'herbal ecstacy' was suprisingly enjoyable. The label stated: 'take only one capsule at a time: do NOT consume with alcohol'.


Tom, Patch and myself must have popped a few more than that alongside our Duvals as we waited for homeward flight on the final day of trip number 2. We sprinted to checkout and then through customs before a keen eyed Dutch airport type man spotted the container of said pills in my pocket. My heart sank when he pointed this out. Thank God it was simply confiscated and I got through with no futher molestation.

Sexy Ladies? Saw plenty of them too. The Red Light District is set alongside some charming canals in the centre of town - and the goods on display are just as charming. I remember Tom and myself walking up and down the rows of windows, gobs half open with looks of fevered amazement. He was particularly fixated by a little blonde piece in white, wouldnt stop talking about her.

The shows were about 35 Euros for 5 acts or so when we went (2001? 2002?). And watching some chick write 'Happy Birthday' (not with her hands, mind you) on some fat, pale Mancunian bloke's bare chest was worth the admission alone....


Guess who Im off to see November 2nd at Brixton Academy?

There is a subtle clue above..

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Big Up Blog Time

I'm a current affairs kind of guy. It makes you learn stuff and thats all good.

Here is a blog worth checking out. Nice to get a different perspective on major issues isnt it?

Saturday, April 07, 2007

More Movies - with ratings too

I've been going through Lovefilm's offerings pretty sharpish recently. Seem to be going through a real purple patch of late. Here are some more capsule reviews for your amusement. Also it makes sure I dont forget em!

Enron: The Smartest Guys in The Room (2005) ****

A documentary about financial issues which I really enjoyed. Unusual that.

Enron was the seventh largest company in America with assets of $75bn. It went bankrupt in under a month and the share price tumbled from $100+ per share to 40cents in the end. Makes you think, eh?

Director Alex Gibney features in the commentary, which is equally smart, informative and pretty funny - I'll keep an eye out for him in future.

Another point to note: Playboy released a feature in 2002 called 'Women of Enron'. It's not about female success in the workplace either....

American History X (1998) ****

Helmed by another guy I've never heard of: Tony Kaye. Most people talk about the 'kerbing incident' where neo nazi Edward Norton completes some impromptu dentistry on a black guy trying to nick his car. However, the redemption story of said skinhead never fails to make you think. As Edward Norton's character (looking about 15 years old, I hasten to add) states: 'hatred is baggage'. And this film gets the point across in a profoundly shocking way.

Amelie (2001) ***1/2

Kooky and extremely French, what more can be said? Audrey Tatou in her pixie splendour acts as matchmaker and general do-gooder whilst finding true love in the process. I found myself quietly muttering 'Bre-to-dou' to myself like the teacher with the big noise in the flashback scene. Makes you feel warm inside.

EASTER UPDATE: Lots of sunshine (I now look like a Mexican), chocs and beer (a fat Mexican) and company of good friends and family.

Its a bummer to come back to work after such good times, isnt it?

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Inland Empire stuff

Back to Mr Lynch and IE. Here pose Mark and myself outside said movie. I can safely say I have never seen so many bewildered people exiting a movie theatre before we went in. The impression you get from the puzzled faces was that IE would leave you needing a strong drink. It certainly left me with the urge to hit the vodka. Watching this film made me feel like my brainpan had been gummed by a toothing toddler - bemused and slightly violated. Still, in what film can you see both a bunch of people dressed as Sylvanian families and hookers dancing 'The Locomotion' in a 90 minute period?

Moving on...

Oh yeah, here is my 'Bronze Award' for good blood donation. Im well chuffed with this

Im sure it'll get filed away with the various other certificates I have acquired over the years but there you go. Apparently if you donate about 75 pints, the Blood Service treats you to a slap up meal in a plush London restaurant..

Gotta wait 30 years for that so it better be worth the wait..

Finally, Dave in the country. Me, him and Patch visited Tydings Farm, a deserted place between Guildford and the Chantries. Over the course of the last couple of years it had been deserted and nature was in the process of reclaiming the ground. It was the first day you could feel the warm sunshine on your face and arms and we had a large bottle of San Miguel beer for entertainment. The left image shows Dave sillohuetted against the divine afternoon sun with a body like a Greek God.

Sorry Dave, love ya really! xxx

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Foodie thoughts before Easter

If my kitchen looked like this - Id live in it

Nothing much to say, bit of a quiet time really.

I seemed to have reached a culinary milestone in my life. At the age of 30 (still sounds weird saying that) I finally have an iterest in the joys of cooking. Yeah, funny to say something like that but gone are the days when a processed chicken kiev and some rice would be enough for me. During a visit to Sainsburys in Surbiton I stopped dead after the thought 'where can I get some chopped olives?' cropped up.

Chopped olives?? Am I turning into some kind of foodie geek or something? Will I be raving about the benefits of Le Creuset cookware down the pub instead of talking endlessly about football? Upon consuming two large bottles of beer last night I thought pouring half of a third onto some sausages would be a good idea. It was! Add some caramelised onions, chilli paste and some mash et voila!

Certainly beats pasta doesnt it?

Sunday, April 01, 2007

A funny little snippet from youtube

Courtesy of Liv:

Some people are just plain dumb, arent they?