World of Bile

Thoughts, pics and links from me to you.. Read on...

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Location: London, United Kingdom

I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoy writing it.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

The reasons why I love Rocky III

Going over old ground here, but this film never fails in raising my spirits when I watch it.

Mooching through the shelves of my local HMV the other day I discovered a cracking bargain: the Rocky I to V box set for 8 quid! How good is that?? As a young lad you were either a Stallone fan or a Schwarzenegger fan - I was very much with the Austrian Oak. However, you cannot deny the smarts of Stallone: he created two of the longest lasting movie heroes in Rocky and Rambo - got 11 movies out of them too. Anyway, with my new box sent in hand I thought I'd take a wander down memory lane with the third installment of this wonderful, wonderful franchise. Here are the reasons why I enjoy this movie so much, and always will.
  • The wonderful, surging, almost gladiatorial Rocky Theme from the start. Makes you want to pick up some gloves and start punching the crap out of someone.

  • Starting the film with the finale of Rocky II. A dual countdown where our hero beats the count..just. He then bellows 'YO ADRIAN!!" to cameras and his missus at home.

  • "Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor, starting with power chords so intense it's like they're played by the Lord Almighty himself. Yeah!

  • The montage of our hero doing American Express ads whilst his nemesis slugs works his way up the championship ladder. Mr T plays a cross between Mike Tyson and BA out of The A-Team: a shiny ebony Pitbull terrier with a mohican and gimlet eyes. One relentless, scary looking dude.

  • The whole Thunderlips episode. Granted, The Hulkster can't act for sh*t but I love trainer Micky's dialogue before the fight: "What's the matter with you? Why do you want to fight this guy? I seen wrestlers as big as dinosaurs! Ever fought a dinosaur kid? They can inflict a variety of damage!"

  • As is the way in a Rocky movie - the fight scenes are unrealistic: when Balboa meets Clubber Lang they really do beat seven bells out of each other. Lang takes to Rocky like he's wielding a baseball bat and stops him in the second - WALLOP!

  • Rocky's rehabilitation in the charasmatic hands of Apollo Creed (Carl Weathers) - culminating in the hilariously homoerotic frollic in the surf of Rock and his new trainer. The slow-mo to freeze of the two men in muscly embrace - Creed is wearing a cropped shirt for God sake. Did Stallone realise how dodgy it looked? It made me cry with laughter!
  • Lang is interviewed on the telly before the big fight. The interviewer asks him about his prediction for the outcome. Mt T's rotweiller like eyes shift between interviewer and camera as he says " My prediction?.... pain!"
  • The machismo of the final fight...Lang looking as feral in the rematch as he did in the first bout. Balboa soaks up the relentless punishment whilst goading Lang to inflict further damage. Creed screams from the corner "He's getting killed out there!" to which Paulie corrects "No, no, no. He ain't getting killed. He's getting mad!" Grrr!
  • Creed's "favour" at the end. A fight down his private gym: a play oppurtunity to get revenge. Our two heroes circle each other exchanging friendly banter before Balboa asks Creed to ring the bell, Apollo puts in his mouthguard and with a voice sounding like his gob is full with newspaper goes "ding! ding!"


Monday, July 30, 2007

My blog readership reaches..FOUR!!

The latest reader is me street grrrl, Ellie!!

BO!! BO!! BO!!

Ellie is a lovely young lady from Richmond way who I work with. I have schooled in it the ways of Da Street so she's now like a well-spoken Lady Sovereign.


Sunday, July 29, 2007

Well, bugger me!

It's just a phrase by the way, just a phrase.

I'm labouring under a very heavy head today. My brain feels like it has been removed and replaced with a large window cleaning sponge which has been soaked in a bucket of water. Y'know the kind of feeling that only results from drinking many pints of beer and then servings of vodka as desert.

Its payday weekend so f**k it.

Anyway, I went out in a lovely town called Guildford for a few beers on Saturday night. Some of my nearest and dearest were present (if you're reading this - you know who you are). One of those out was James Staley; tall, slim - looks a bit like a white Nicholas Anelka. Imagine my present surprise to hear - he reads my blog! Cheers James! Big up yourself, man, I hope its of interest to you. Have set up the Specials link now so sorry about the delay.

Its called 'A Special Life'. That's 'A Special Life'... Ok? Have a read. Hope you get a kick out of reading it.


Thursday, July 26, 2007

Vandalism with imagination

Kids today, huh? Mark sent me this picture in quadripulicate during the early hours of this morning. Cheers man - it made me laugh. I mean, what kind of person goes out of their way to buy a small tin of bright pink paint to chuck at a rubbish bin? What were they thinking? Notice the way the empty pot has been placed carefully alongside the scene of the crime. Almost looks like a piece of street art doesnt it? Banksy would be proud.

Here are some cracking pics of street art from around the world - courtesy of Wikipedia.

Love the Richard Pryor one, myself.


Monday, July 23, 2007

Dirty, Dirty, Dirty

This isnt pretty. Our cleaners come from the 'get a broom and sweep all the crap into the sink' school of cleaning. It looks like the tea-bags have been added just for artistic licence, doesn't it?


Saturday, July 21, 2007

Special Blog

'Not on my manor - you slag!'
My training starts August 5th. Won't be writing about it here as I wouldn't feel comfortable doing so. The Specials Blog will be called 'A Special One' - on that I'll write about my adventures and where they take me.

I hope it will be of interest to anyone who reads this.


Friday, July 20, 2007

Places where even a BMW should NOT go

It seems like the Lord Almighty himself was sending us the weather today. Iron grey skies.. driving rain with drops the size of ping pong balls.. thunder crashing away like the duracell bunny with a huge pair of cymbals.. Yes, its the end of the world today. The Big Man is coming down to earth from his cloud - kicking arse and taking names

Work was, what can I say.. an experience today. When the water started leaking through the electrics in the roof I was a little concerned. However by lunchtime the rain had stopped so we could go for a mooch in comfort. Here is a nice little pic for you, it's taken on the one-way system in central Kingston, bout 1pm. A BMW driver thinks he can drive through any puddle.. because he's in a BMW! A real tool I'm sure, either some vapid yummy mummy from Richmond who needs 50 grand of German engineering to protect little Tarquin and Jemima. Or Tory City Boy who buys one, because he has no original thoughts in his brain. Not a three foot deep one mind you, ha ha! Imagine the bill this numpty's gonna face when he fishes his car out!

Apparently 30mins previously this car was floating the other way round!


Sunday, July 15, 2007

Sunday Update

It's quiet today. I'm recharging the batteries after a week or so of drinking and spending cash. News of the week is this: have received a provisional offer to start training with the Specials on August 5th. Ominously enough, just two weeks away. The deal is 17 consecutive Sundays of commitment, I get a warrant card and they then let me loose on the streets - all to be done by the end of the year. I'll post my Specials experience elsewhere, ask me if you're interested.
Im taking a great big step here, or alternatively Im gonna be shot down in flames for my efforts. Only time will tell, of course...


Thursday, July 12, 2007

A night out in Putney with an old friend

I'm sitting in the office at work. Nursing a stonker of a hangover today - all self inflicted of course so no sympathy asked for or expected.

Providence sent me another surprise last week, this time in the form of a Facebook message from a very old friend from college called Zoe. Do you ever wonder 'what ever happened to so and so?'. I do; this girl was one of those people who crept into my mind from time to time in the past. I'll admit, I was very intrigued and looked forward to meeting her with a mixture of anticipation laced with a little unease. How would the ditzy, funny girlie I knew have changed? Would she still have the same random sense of humour which tickled my fancy all those years ago? It was an interesting first meeting, Zoe gave me that cheek and cheek city kiss (dah-ling!) before sitting down. She sat there with a big white toothsome smile and fixed me with a gimlet expression - rather like a cat regards an object of interest whilst toying with it. Then, BOOM! She rattled off a list of questions like being in some Q and A session, man! Flashback to an interview I had for a city type job when I was about 23. Your author sat across the table whilst a petit pinstripe suited HR woman fired a rapid staccato of questions at me whilst grinning wolfishly. I crashed and burned on that day so it wasn't a memory I was keen to revisit!

The wine started flowing sharpish. The reminiscing started soon after. It was kinda funny, but Z brought up our mutual friend on several occasions - asking 'you used to fancy her, didn't you?' after about 10 mins of chat. Bit of a bolt from the blue that one, I hadn't realise that my childhood crush had been so obvious! We exchanged anecdotes about friends and old flames like Tom Packer ('he spat alot didn't he?'), Adam Lavis (buff now, apparently), Sophie Lou (3 kids, so I've been told), Jake (he was a sly dog, I can tell you) and got absolutely plastered. She was pretty sly too. Have you ever had a chat with someone when they have a hidden agenda during the conversation? Either Zoe was feeling particularly ditzy that evening or there was something she wanted. What do you mean? I hear you ask. Well, its a bit of an odd one which leaves my scratching my head in bemusement. I hadn't realised my love life was of that much interest to her - I recounted my teenage crush to her and she kept on asking 'There was someone else you fancied too.. who was it?" Oblivious to my denials she kept on asking "Was it so and so? Who was it?" When I mentioned I had to get some food down me to keep the hangover at bay, she suggested we go out to dinner (???!!) That really got the alarm bells ringing. She also asked "Does Jake ever mention me?" (the two of them had a thing, way back). Now that made me laugh, Jacob is as emotionally self contained as they come - he barely even mentions his current girlfriend, let alone one from seven years ago! Once again I return to the question: what did this woman want???
The funniest thing was, the drunker she got, the more she waved her arms around in conversation and the more right wing her political beliefs became! The liberal which she espoused became a windmilling conservative just like me. Your Daily Mail subscription is on the way Zoe!

She read one of the entries on my blog and pronounced it to be cliched and pretty crass. Well, if you're reading this one Zoe - you'll probably my style hasn't changed, girl. I look forward to reading the Scrubs script and as I said to you - it'd better be funny! Richard Herring will see the error of his ways, coming your way and sweep you off your feet very soon.

Herring: the future Mr Hall?


Tuesday, July 10, 2007

For Mark - review of Fracture

For Mark - review of Fracture.
Hi Mark,
You sounded keen for my thoughts on the movie 'Fracture' which we watched last night - so here they are:
It's a good enough looking thriller. Opening credits rolling over Ted Crawford's (Hopkins's) wall-sized executive stress toy - hard to describe: put your little glass globes at the top and they roll down rails to the bottom. Slowly, methodically, taking lots of unexpected twists and turns before reaching their destination. Kind of a metaphor for Crawfords character himself - clever eh?
Basically, Fracture gives Hopkins a chance to be a dark nutter but this time in a courtroom setting. He smart, he's intense, he has a whimsical sense of humour and to top it off - he's a nutter too (remind you of any other character he has played in the past?) The story is: Crawford's missus has been playing away and he finds out. In typical cold psycho fashion he shoots her calmly in the head - as one would. The spin is: the cop who busts Mr Crawford is the guy who was taking care of business with Mrs C in the first place! Ha Ha! Our villain confesses, the cop seemingly has the gun for the crime too - banged to rights you'd think? Well actually, no! The confession is dismissed as fishy and the gun isnt the one that shot the bullet.
Enter the hero of the piece; city defender Willy Beachum played by Ryan Gosling. Here is a young turk on the way up, working a final, seemingly open-and-shut case before making the big bucks with a top law firm. Of course, being a Hopkins movie, this is not to be! The case falls apart, Mr C runs rings around his persecutor and spends the whole time taking the piss out of him. The clock is ticking: will our young hero find the evidence to incriminate Crawford the case gets thrown out of court or will the scheming Crawford win the day?
By the numbers performances from most of the cast. Hopkins verges on chewing on the scenery as Ted Crawford - lots of above lit shots highlighting his sparkling blue eyes under beetled brow all hidden behind gold rimmed specs. The cinematography screams: 'He's moody! He's enigmatic! He's smart! He's dangerous'. Accent-wise however, Hopkins does himself few favours with a Welsh/Irish/Indian/American fusion which would make Dick Van Dyke cringe. The other characters are just visual wallpaper. David Strathairn plays Beachum's boss, Joe Lombruto (sounds like a name lifted out of the Sopranos doesnt it?) and his usual frowniness just makes him look like he's suffering from heartburn or something. The love interests are tip-top quality but simply act as good packaging. The one on the right is rather lovely for an old bird, I'm sure you'd agree.
(Left: Rosamund Pike - Right: Embeth Davidtz. Crikey!)

The real star is Ryan Reynolds as hot shot lawyer Will. This guy is gonna be big. Kind of reminds me of Jodie Foster's character in Silence of The Lambs - young, a bit wet behind the ears and playing up to his elders and betters.
Not as cute though.


Monday, July 09, 2007

When life stops sending you along interesting little tangents from time to time, it's not worth living.

On Friday evening I received a text from my buddy The Claw with an offer of work. Being in an unusally good mood I thought 'hell, I'll take it!' and kind of forgot about things. Saturday night was spent on a particularly fun sesh' with Toria and Liv before staggering home for about one o'clock. With a sense of intrigue I made my way over to Twickenham thinking 'what have let myself in for?' (yeah I should've asked really, shouldn't I?). The diversion signs were a clue: Genesis were playing as part of their European Tour! My first visit to the home of rugby and I was gonna watch a concert and get paid for it - and quite well too! Happy Days!

Seems like every group is reforming at the moment after a long time away. The lure of corporate sponsorship and tickets at 55 to 60 quid a pop must be just too much to resist, I reckon. Makes me think so it does: have Genesis ever been anything but a peddler of MOR, catchy radio tunes for middle aged people? Granted, back in they day they were a bit mad when Peter Gabriel was running things.

Gabriel: mentalist

Phil Collins then took charge and they became the unspectacular purveyors of Magic FM pop that they are today - seemingly overnight. You can see it in the fans, soft faced, mature middle England couples who queued up politely and calmly and danced like they were queueing at a bus stop whilst needing the toilet. They cheered, they whooped and they hollered, but all in the most respectable way, of course. When the looming 30 foot image of Phil Collins was first projected over the staged it asked 'Are there any old people here tonight?' 50,000 people roared their approval in response.

Phil Collins and an admiring fan.

Saturday, July 07, 2007

'Summer' Afternoon Ramblings

The sun has finally made a sustained showing after weeks of April showers, thunder, lightning and general unpleasantness. I'm looking out the window at work and Kingston is bathed in a warm glow - the clouds look fluffier and friendlier than usual. Anyway, nothing of any great import to share with you today - counting the cost of a number of birthdays, planning a few nights out but thats about it.

My sister turned 32 on 1st July. God, I remember when an age like that didn't even register on my consciousness. As a kid I always thought that when you reached 25 your life was effectively over. The precociousness of youth I guess...

My old school buddy, Patch has turned 30 on the 7th July '07. The bright eyed cherub of 1992 has been replaced by a leaner, tougher looking model 15 years on. We all seem to have more crows feet, greyer hair and a more cynical view of life as the years fly by, don't we? One thing which really made me roll eyes this week was the Concert for Diana - did this woman really deserve such widespread adulation? You can understand her boys wanting to commemorate her birthday 10 years on, but do we really have to buy in too? All the usual suspects for a royal do were there - The Quo, Will Young, Tom Jones plus a few acts for the kids, including the naffest band in the world called 'Orson'. I mean, how can you strut around in hats trying to look cool with a name like that?

The best Orson - all the others are a bunch of idiots..

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Limericks I wrote at work.

Am I wasted in my profession?


There once was a girl called Milli,
Who on breakfast had spoonfulls of chilli,
Small red ones on toast,
Were ones she liked most,
But with curries she thought it was silli!


There was once a young lady called Zoe,

Who's clothes sense was all rather showy,

Gucci and Prada,

Made her work so much harder

She said "Primark is all just below me!"