World of Bile

Thoughts, pics and links from me to you.. Read on...

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Location: London, United Kingdom

I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoy writing it.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

One Thousand and counting...


Its wet and dark out there. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it.
Just a quick one. Last week I passed 1,000 page views of WoB since November 24th last year! Granted, my stalker counted for about 17% of those - but it feels like a landmark I should share with you. Message to my stalker: glad to see you're still clocking on with me, sometimes at very late hours - you getting enough sleep? ;) Maybe you could send me some more tantalising evidence of your existence perhaps..
Could make it into the premise of a David Lynch type film like Lost Highway. But without the murdering of course...
Btw, if you want to know what Lost Highway is about ask me, or ask Mark: he'll tell you.
[Been trying to download a picture of Mark here, but my PC is conspiring against me.. bugger..]
Anyway, my office life is incredibly tedious at the moment. I clock in, chain myself to my desk for seven hours, and then clock out again. However there has been two considerable pluses to my life of late - probably have to share those with you another time.
Hopefully catch some of you over this month. Lots of birthdays and social events to come so expect the pics in the days and weeks to come.

Friday, April 25, 2008

How I felt on leaving the office today

Final scene of Ice Cold in Alex starring Sir John Mills. He was gagging for something cool and fresh -- so was I!

Drinking it down like a cool refreshing, mountain spring

Well my stalker hasn't shown up yet.

No people sitting in cars outside my house. No mysterious telephone calls. No severed horse's head waiting under my pillow when I'm ready to sleep. Nada.

I am disappointed...

It was a particularly tedious day in the office today. I feel my joie de vivre dissipate and float out the window by mid morning these days. It'd doesn't help that our office air conditioning stops operating by about mid day, you leave the office for lunch and are enveloped in a warm blanket of uncirculated air on your return. Our solution is to open the windows, which in turn stops the a/c working! Management frowns on this of course, and today sent some handymen to secure them shut. The a/c is pretty feeble at the best of times and the jungly aroma of 100 slowly marinating bodies produced a funk that was almost tangible. So, we were tried to open a window to get some fresh air in, and it worked! The maintenance bods hadn't done their job properly!
I staggered out of the building at just before 5, greedily gasping in lungfuls of fresh Kingston air, all infused with the toxins of passing traffic. Aah, the irony!
Anyway, enjoy your (hopefully fresh and odour free) weekend.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

I have a stalker (??!!)

In case you're interested. Bill Werbenuik's jammy pot was against Joe Johnson, not Tony Drago. Thought I should put that right.

Been writing my blog for nearly two years now. It has become as much a part of my life as brushing my teeth in the morning.

If thats a good thing or not - I dont know.

Most lunchtimes I grab my panini and settle in front of Statcounter to find out who has visited WoB the previous day. Its that mystery thing I told you about, last time around I posted a Youtube clip of Bill Werbeniuk and someone from Romania found it through google. The word moves in very mysterious ways..

Normally there are 4-10 views of WoB daily. On a good day 20-30. Today I nearly choked on my lunch when I saw the graph below:

Its a little unclear, but yesterday my blog was loaded 173 times! That's right, 173!!! One hundred and sixty of these views were by the same person who methodically worked through my recent posts and all the way back to the ones of Summer 06! Quite frankly I'm a little concerned.. this person knows more even about me than I do! Even my closest friends arent that interested in what Im thinking!

So here is a message to my regualr readers (and I know I have some): should I succumb to some freakish 'accident' in the weeks to come, it might be the fault of my stalker! His (her?) ISP address is - please let the relevant authorities know... ;)

I'm off to set up some security cameras in the front garden..


Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Bill Werbeniuk - jammy or sublime?

Back in the 80s, snooker was played by real men. The pro ranks were stuffed with chunky, walrus moustached men like Bill Werbeniuk shown here. 'Big Bill' was renowned for his booze intake before a game: apparently he used to have six pints before playing and a further pint for each frame of the match itself. All for 'medical reasons'.. which is funny as my nights out on the lash are medicinal too...

Here's a cracking shot he played during the World Championship against someone who looks like Tony Drago back in 1983. Was it Legal? Skillful or just plain lucky? I don't know, but its pretty impressive..

Sunday, April 20, 2008

My latest patron..

Hello there,

Just a quick one for you. According to the message under the latest posting, my buddy Simon is the latest convert to my words of wisdom. I'm honoured once again that what I have to say is of interest to people! For those who don't know, he's a family man with two young children.

Simon Matthias: he's the daddy...

Here he is wearing a hat that bellows 'dadness' at the top of its lungs to anyone who will listen. Si was ahead of the curve when it came to settling down and making grown up decisions. He got hitched about 7 years ago and started acting grown up - at the time my most adult decision was to catch the last train home from London after a night out instead of a taxi! Anyway Simon, I hope what I write will continue to be of interest to you.

The photo above was taken after a barbecue he hosted. He plied us with good food and we sat out in his garden for several hours chatting and watching the clouds drift overhead. There's another picture of us and 3 other mates posed over his garden sun loungers, all looking very contented and respectable. A dress rehearsal for middle age, methinks...

I'm looking forward to seeing Mr M again at the stag do of a mutual friend. What revelry that'll be: a whole group of settled down, sensible guys with marriages, mortgages and mouths to feed.. Lets see what can be done about that, eh?

Thats about all I have to tell you at the moment. I have an interesting story to tell you next weekend, but Ill save that until then.

Have a good week and catch you soon, I hope.


Thursday, April 17, 2008

I love a good mystery..


Hope you're having a good week.

Today I'm gonna start with a quote:
“Uncertainty and mystery are energies of life. Don't let them scare you
unduly, for they keep boredom at bay and spark creativity.”
That was written by an author called RI Fitzhenry. Never heard of the guy but I feel those are indeed wise words.

I love a mystery. To not be party to the machinations in life fires the imagination. You can be assured that everything we see, or hear, or are told, has a hidden thread behind it. And I'm not just talking about all the grand conspiracies which we know about (even though they have an intriguing frisson to them), the day to day enigmas hold just as much appeal. For instance to mention but three:

* What happened to DB Cooper?
* What happened to Agent Cooper?
* What was the huge humanoid creature that was supposed to have harassed the inhabitants of Point Pleasant, West Virginia in the mid 1960s?
On a more mundane level: why did three middle age people walk through a shopping centre in my local town wearing anatomically correct 'naked body costumes' about 5 years ago? What were they thinking? What made them do that? It certainly drew some astonishment from the passing punters, as well as a few chuckles from yours truly.
Also the fact someone from Imperial College, London downloaded 15 pages from WoB yesterday evening. I spent much time today wondering: 'Who the hell did that?' Anyway, I hope you found what you were looking for, whoever you are!
Till next time.


CARY GRANT - INGRID BERGMAN - Indiscreet (1958)

So glad I found this.

Taken from the 1958 film 'Indiscreet'. Grant plays urbane American being shown the joys of high London society. I love the way he throws himself into the dancing with gay abandon, putting all the other 54 year olds in the room to shame. Its like he's on something: especially in the final seconds when you see his happy, out of focus orange face floating around the screen much to Bergman's disgust!

Had to watch this scene a few times before I could stop laughing.. love it..

Monday, April 14, 2008

Why don't you ever see Russell Brand and Amy Winehouse in the same room?


Hope your weekend was a good one, and that Monday has been kind to you.

Im feeling thoughtful today. If what follows comes across as me talking out of my arse - sorry.

Had an interesting experience last week. An old friend got in contact with me after 13 years(??!!). Through the wonders of Facebook, all the wonderful people from the past can come track you down! Plus the ones you'd rather never hear from again - but that's another story...

After the hit of pleasant shell shock has subsided, where do you go from there? In my mind, this person is frozen as the 18 year old they were when I last heard from them - going off into the wide world to see what they can experience. I'd consigned them to the recesses of memory, nostalgia and daydream, only to be recalled when I'm 80 and sitting in my bathchair experiencing a lucid moment!

The experience makes me want to pose the question to anyone reading this: is there someone out there who you sometimes think 'I wonder what happened to so and so?' Have the wonders of modern technology drawn them back to you? Or do they still only exist in the hazy recall of headier times gone by?
Well, I await for a few more people to appear out of nowhere - in the meantime, back to the present day...
The latest phenom that has been flashing on my cultural radar is Russell Brand. In a Hollywood film! Yes, the young Catweazle has scored a top gig and is hanging out with the beautiful people in Los Angeles.

Apparently his back-combed black birds-nest barnet is no barrier in the world of the sleek and beautiful which got me thinking (I do that alot as you know): who else looks like they've been dragged through a hedge backwards? And who do you think came into my mind? Well....

Yep, that other big seller for Heat Magazine. A few years back, Miss Winehouse was sorta pleasing on the eye. However the dead mink that passes for her hairdo has cooled my ardour significantly.

Righto, I'm off to get a beer. Catch you soon..


Friday, April 11, 2008

I should be working, but....

Its Friday evening!
As work starts from 8.30am tomorrow I decided an early night was on the cards.
So here we all are again! I swear, if I had a life I wouldnt be writing WoB as religiously as I do: 230 posts, nearly 2 years now - without a break. Hopefully, my hard work will pay off, and one day we'll be syndicated in a weekly Daily Mail column for a huge stack of cash. Trust me, I can get as reactionary and bigoted as the next hack out there - if you pay me enough!
Daily Mail - a right wing newspaper for the affluent and middle aged in the Shires - for those unaware.
The Shires - counties in the UK with the suffix -shire in them, often considered to be less than progressive, nothing to do with JRR Tolkein - also for those unaware.
Anyway, hope you're all feeling well out there in cyberspace. Especially my latest reader from a place called 'Winsford, Cheshire' according to trusty Statcounter. Hello to you...hope you come back again and are amused by what you read.
A message to my nice American visitor, Ann: post more stuff! I've been checking your blog and its been a little quiet of late. Reading someone elses blog becomes a regular habit: and if you're deprived of a fix, withdrawal symptoms can occur.
Two film recommendations for you. The Hustler (1960) starring Paul Newman is the first. He plays, funnily enough, a pool hustler searching for the big payday. Being a novice myself, I thought the pool scenes look convincing and in the bonus material you get a snippet of some champion cue-man purring his approval. For me the film is made by Jackie Gleason who plays the supposedly unbeatable 'Minnesota Fats' - without doubt the finest sport related nickname there's ever been. Period. Tiger?? Rocket?? Hurricane?? All their handles pale into insignificance in comparison...
Secondly: Barry Lyndon (1970 something). One of Kubrick's lesser known 1970s works, it starred Ryan O'Neil as an Irish wideboy making good in 18th Century Europe. Now this is the second Kubrick film Ive seen with a cameo from Leonard Rossiter! To think, one of the 20th Century's greatest film directors collaborated with the weasly faced landlord out of 'Rising Damp'
Thats yer lot. Im gonna have a spot of dinner and hit the sack, have a top weekend.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Cat Poo Coffee

More Americans are visiting my blog!? I still don't know whether I should feel honoured [we spell it with a 'u' over here] or annoyed at the potential spam coming my way or terrified at the prospect of inadvertently breaking some law and having Homeland Security coming over here and busting my ass...
But that's just me..
Anyway, here's the latest link I found for you.. funnily enough during my coffee break at work..
It wasn't cat poo coffee either!!
My first mental response to this is 'what...the...hell??' It seems we've reached a new nadir of conspicuous consumption where obscenely wealthy people will fritter away their cash in increasingly obscene methods. Next I suggest a vegetarian equivalent of sweetcorn picked out from a Bolivian sewage reclamation plant at £50 quid a pop!



Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Spring continues its' merry passage unabated outside whereas I sit indoors tapping away my thoughts for your attention. Finally it is bright, the skies are blue and the weather is springtime fresh - a summer in my garden with a good book and beer is nearly here. That thought (amongst several others) makes me feel contented.

Anyway, how you doing? Hope you're feeling well while you're reading this. I'm feeling fine myself; the gym buzz from yesterday has subsided a little whereas the ache has not stomach feels like someone has been flogging repeatedly with a piece of 4 by 2 after all the sit ups I was doing, but still the belly peaks cheekily over the top of my trousers to prove I have alot more torment to inflict on it.
Little to much detail for you?? Sorry...
Back to the wedding on Saturday. My friend Faye was getting hitched to her boyfriend Ross and invited me to a place called Woldingham School, hidden in the middle of the Surrey Countryside. I felt so smug making my travel plans the day before - I would leave myself 3 hours to get from Kingston (where I live) to the venue... under no condition would I be late.. Of course fate had other ideas: a station fire at Waterloo (the main rail terminus for SW London) meant all services ground to a halt at Wimbledon, but not before a 40 minute wait at New Malden. We piled onto the District Line tube there - me set on getting to London Victoria for the journey back out and about 9,000 other people set to watch big football matches at stadia on route. After playing sardines for long enough I finally bolted at East Putney to clamber onto a bus to Clapham Junction.. and of course the bus retracked my journed back through Wimbledon before getting to where I wanted to be!
Fortune was finally on my side as I marched into the station, after 4 minutes the Woldingham train pulled up, a 3omin journey and I was at my destination.
And what a destination it is! A fine red brick Victorian building set amongst stunning grounds: the sort of place you'd see in a Merchant Ivory film. The ceremony was held in the computer room. The most sumptuous, wood carved, Rococo styled computer room I have ever seen.. we all took our seats as the Registrar gave her spiel and were respectfully silent as Faye entered. Its funny, you always get that same collective vibe of well wishing for the bride as she enters, kind of like an inaudible 'aaaaaaah!' of happiness as she walks past. For Faye it was the same. She sensed this and the waterworks started: huge blissed out smile and eyes narrowed with the tears of joy.. Id show a picture here if my s***ing new camera phone would let me.. oh well..
What I can show is a picture of a few chums who joined me for the Big Day. Lawrence, Karl and Ellie:

After the ceremony we circulated for the glasses of shampoo and pics outside. The father of the groom was a delightful guy who looked like Warren Clarke with a 'tache and a walking stick. He regaled me with stories of his youth whilst chain smoking furiously.. judging by his wheezing it probably wasn't the most sensible course of action...
Then came the meal, the touching speeches and the dancing. One sight I wont forget for a while is the first dance: Faye at (4 foot 9) dancing lovingly with her new man Ross (all of 6 foot 1!). He's gonna have a bad back if he carries on doing that for a I'm sure you can imagine..
And that's yer lot. Bit abbreviated as Ive gotta crack on with the dinner now. Hope you enjoyed reading, and until next time.

Monday, April 07, 2008

Everyone gets loved up at a wedding..

Hello again,

The same couple of people keep on checking my posts so I really do not want to keep you waiting.

Trouble is, Ive just got back from the gym about 2o minutes ago and I'm seriously shagged out.. The vibe of snappy apathy has floated off and now I feel contented. Spent but contented...

Sorry... Apologies especially go out to my American viewer from 'Portland, Oregon' (according to trusty old statcounter). A short post here and I hope a further delay does not disappoint too much.

I have a new mobile phone - a tasty little device called the Nokia N95. Here's a pic taken with the lovely new toy; the first course of the wedding breakfast I attended last weekend. One feels a tit when taking photos of food, but the dish was so well presented that I had to commemorate the moment.

I know.. it looks like expensive catfood. It was however a delectable lobster terrine which we all woofed down pretty sharpish.

Anyway, more about that next time..



Thursday, April 03, 2008

Its been a while...

Looks like some of you are missing my words of (ahem) wisdom. Im touched..

A message to the person who checks my blog repeatedly in the middle of the night: I hope it helps you to get off to sleep soundly.
Anyway, hello again. I havent posted for all of five days, so I thought I'd better give you an update. No funny pictures or links this time - there will be some after this weekend though as Im off to a wedding. Not mine, before you ask.. That would be a shock for you if it was, wouldnt it??
I spoke of dream analysis the other week, and so have another one to share with you. I dreamt I saved the life of this really cute girl I work with! I swam out, grabbed her as she was sinking under and dragged her off to safety. Mmmm.. reckons:
To dream that you rescue someone from drowning, indicates that you have successfully acknowledged certain emotions and characteristics that is symbolized by the drowning victim.
Food for thought there. Does that mean Im about to burst out in an inferno of blazing lust then? I look forward to finding out...
I start my training at Lords Cricket Ground on Sunday. For those who are unaware, Lords is the spiritual home of the sport, for over 100 years, cricketers have come from all over the world to walk on the field at HQ to play England. Most of the time, they win too! I was interviewed for a stewarding role (get paid to stand around, watch the cricket and get a tan - nice!) and it lasted all of 7 minutes, shortest interview I have ever had. It later transpired that I had the required experience and was a shoo-in for the role. Upon being introduced to the Australian stewarding team I explained that my questioning had been brief to which one wag replied 'Well.. you're either really good.. or really shite then!'
Lets hope its the former.