World of Bile

Thoughts, pics and links from me to you.. Read on...

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Location: London, United Kingdom

I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoy writing it.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

How to Start Blogging with Blogger ***DAVE READ THIS***

Hi Dave,

You were thinking about a blog. This is how you do it.


A moan from the heart….. literally

Why can’t I live without caffeine?

Its one of the only things I regret nowadays. Ever since my granddad used to serve me steaming cups of tea in bed on a Sunday morning, I’ve probably kept the most of the tea producing nations in business. Vending machine coffee kept me up and running during my salad days. I shifted tables and chairs and heavy loads at a local office block after I graduated. Rocking into work at dawn for my ten hour shift, it was only grainy cups of Nescafe that got me through till hometime. Those plastic cups of caffeinated goodness kept a spring in my step and my eyes bright no matter what the world threw at me. Red Bull was my fuel of choice on a Saturday evening – it gave me a swagger and a glint in my eye which would last all night long.

Nowadays those cups of the hard stuff serve to cure a hangover and help me communicate with surly members of the public in the job which I do.

This is fine, however it doesn’t come without its concerns.

Number 1. My pearly whites are not so pearly. The charming smile I flash at times is not so charming as the teeth are a little less ivory than I’d like.

Number 2. Too much caffeine plays havoc with the insides.. If you heard me playing the intestinal tuba in the gents you’d understand.. the pneumatic drumbeat solo my heart beats is not too far behind..

Number 3. Most significantly.. if I’m not drinking coffee, I’m not functioning properly. I can actually feel my eyes glazing over in conversation… and my mind wandering elsewhere.. in fact I can feel it happening now.. its like.. oh look, shiny!

A life of minor arrhythmia awaits if I continue to blitz the daily brew. Still, what is the alternative?

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Looks like my favourite blogger has made a return to form


Check out the 'two most scary places on Earth' movies embedded on the 24th October.

Makes you realise how a cold snap or our hot summer weather (when we get it) is pretty insipid by comparison....



Thursday, October 23, 2008

McCain and Palin Dance in High School Musical 3!

They've got all the moves!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

The secret to losing weight..

Its very simple..

Less weight = more activity+ less nutritional intake

Statement of the bleedin' obvious perhaps. But gimmick diets will never work, if you're sitting on the sofa eating nothing but grapefruits, the weight's going straight back on once you're back on the bacon sandwiches at breakfast time. Know what I mean?

Why am I saying this? Well, I started a new part time job. Escape from my working life of cheap coffee, computer screens and bad air conditioning. My second office is a trendy gym in Barnes. Well, not actually a gym - the purists would call it a 'fitness boutique'. Complete with neutral wall colouring, soothing music and four exercise machines which would look good on the deck of the Starship Enterprise. Behold!

The Power Plate is the latest exercise gadget to get the Yummy Mummies in a lather. There is a vibrating mechanism in the platform which makes the muscles influenced by it expand and contract very quickly. Its like when you run or lift weights: the muscles come under pressure and have to work in order to cope. The beauty of this piece of equipment is that you stand virtually still to get the benefit. No running, heaving or muscle soreness, no gym gorillas hurling their 50kg free weights onto the floor in front of you. Just a 30min session then you can get down to the important business of picking up Tarquin and Gemima from nursery.

Or you can get the au pair to do the school run instead.

The Power Plate really works too. I've spent the last week of my training working muscles I didn't know I had. The sweat drips off me while I barely even move and my chest muscles twitch like they have a mind of their own. It's an exercise experience unlike any other.

My new work colleagues are slim women with flat stomachs and bigger triceps than I. The blokes are toned or look like they're hewn from granite. Jason is a full timer at my new place of work, he looks like a young Kiwi Kurt Russell, has an easy manner and the kind of look that makes women drool. He is a super straight fitness expert and regards me with a sort of confusion. My tidy belly and incomplete command of fitness facts is something he just can't seem to get his head around.

My muscles are heavy and I've got plenty to learn in months to come but now have a sense of urgency which has been missing for a long time. Wish me luck...


Friday, October 17, 2008

Star Wars Spoof Battle With Benny Hill

Another youtube offering that made my day...


Feeling hungry? Not for long you wont be..

In my new line of work I'm starting to think about diet an nutrition. You know the sort of thing: fat, fibre, carbohydrates, daily calorie intake.. that sort of thing. Id be interested to see the levels this baby tips the scales at!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008


Nuff said...

Monday, October 13, 2008

My new 'niece' - she likes to lick herself (??!!)

More lovely sunshine this weekend gone so we piled into the countryside to visit my sister and my new 'niece'.

Rosie is 17 weeks old, has free run of the garden, likes her tummy tickled and sleeps in a cage.

She's a bulldog of course, and a lovely one at that.

Rosie and her older 'brother' Jock.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Autumn lingers with its' pleasing moments

In these ominous economic times, Id thought the weather would be grim to match: wet, steely and dark.

It isnt. We've enjoyed scattered days of watery sunshine as 'summer' has progressed into autumn. And life has similarly retained its warmer moments.

We paid a spur of the moment late afternoon visit to Bushy Park the other week. It seemed to be head buttin' season for the male red deer and we watched the clattering of horns with some interest. The stags' battle cries filled Xander with a mixture of wonder and fear (sounded like something out of Jurassic Park to me) but the lack of wariness of the does didn't fail to charm us. We collected horse chestnuts to hurl into a nearby ditch before the cold beat us into a retreat home by about 7 o'clock that evening.

Good wholesome fun.

As a present Ellen gave X a plastic mask for Halloween. It was 40 pence which was well spent as he absolutely adores it.. however it kinda freaks me out. Still, do you remember the last time something so cheap gave you so much pleasure?

Thursday, October 09, 2008

National Debt clock can't keep up, need another digit

The new one will be made in China and cost $9,000,000.

Thats a joke by the way

Sunday, October 05, 2008

My life has been turned upside down.

And its mostly down to Xander, my girlfriend's little boy. A three feet and two and a half stone of a pocket sized force of nature. He's subject to everything from the deepest squalls of tantrum and unhappiness to bright unalloyed joy. The latter being a revelation..

I find him an endless source of fascination.

If you'd told me a year ago Id have been navigating life with a toddler today, I would've laughed. Last thing I'd expect. However, here I am.. crossing roads hand in hand with the X-man, palming treats (hopefully) unseen back onto supermarket shelves when the little guy brings them to the till. I had my first childhood sickness experience the other week, after half a bag of M&Ms and playground cavorting Xander declared: 'My tummy's feeling funny'. A moment later the floodgates opened and the chocolate made it's presence known again, in amongst puddles of what looked like pea soup. Even now I'm kinda shocked that so much substance could flow out of someone so small! We guided him into the baby changing area where Ellen could do a cleaning job on him. I left them in peace for a while and returned to find the poor guy sitting on the baby changing platform wearing nothing but his hoodie and a despondent expression. But, typical of the elastic nature of toddlerhood, he slept for a few hours and was right as rain soon enough!

He throws himself down flights of stairs and off chests of drawers. Gets the occasional bash and scrape, hunts down mummy for one of her healing kisses when necessary, before getting back to business..

I find this fascinating, he has given me my sense of wonder back. The things he loves, he embraces wholeheartedly, no grown up understating or nuancing here. Day to day life with Xander can be a struggle of psychological warfare, but to see him happy melts my world weary, cynical heart.

Jacob Maunders on the road to nowhere..

3am on the outskirts of Birmingham and he's still smiling..